Having made yet another epiphany in my craft I've slowed down the telling of my story in ACT II so to create more of an emotional connection to my reader. It's working so well I'm in the enjoyable dilemma of now having too much story to tell. I can sit back and choose which scenes (already articulated) I want in this draft. What's the new epiphany? How am I trying to create that emotioinal connection, I ask (rhetorically...to myself)?
Just by slowing down the telling. It's one thing to tell that, "Victor and Ingrid board the train." It's another thing entirely to tell you 'how' they board that train, "Victor tightens his grip on the cane handle. Risks taking that first big step onto the train step, but his leg gives out.
Not knowing whether he'll accept her help or push her away, Ingrid runs under him and holds him around his waist, wincing the whole time.
INGRID "We'll get on together."
Reluctant to put his weight on the 10 yr old girl, and choking back tears of guilt Victor looks at her without his usual scowl for the first time.
VICTOR "Alright."
They fill the threshold of the train and seem to help each other into the car. END SCENE.
Something like that, as just an example.
I don't know if that's better writing or not, but I'm excited writing that way; especially after the three scripts I read recently. One of them made me laugh out loud. My writing never evoked such responses. But that's going to change.
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