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The Crooked Old Man (2nd 10 pgs)


            INT. KITCHEN - COTTAGE - LATER

            Lily packs a satchel as Victor eats and glances out a window.

                                VICTOR
                      Some traveling sideshow on the far side
                      of the river.  Mind Maria better, hmm?

                                LILY
                      She’s an explorer like you. 

            Victor ignores the complement.

                                LILY
                      Where will you be?

                                VICTOR
                      Don’t know yet. 

                                LILY
                      Would you consider staying?  Not for me. 

            Victor shoots her a look.  She doesn’t look at him.

                                VICTOR
                      Your asking me to stay is selfish.  My
                      country needs me again.  Finally. 

                                LILY
                      Germany?  They need you to tell them how
                      they lost the war?  She needs you too.  

            Victor sees Maria outside gesturing and toasting to thin air.

                                VICTOR
                      Lily, PLEASE?!  You’re not... Sister,                                           
                      there’s a fault in the bedrock of our
                      nation.  Maybe you know how deep it goes.
                      I do and I’m terrified.  Since the war
                      people everywhere live in fear.  Of who
                      might come or of who might come out.
                      Know your enemy, the papers tell us.  I
                      wish we knew ourselves.  If this fear
                      continues we could lose our rights, our
                      country, maybe our whole identity.

            Lily weeps by her brother’s rare display of passion.

                                VICTOR
                      There’s only one hope of regaining our
                      national pride.  The Mirror Project.          
                      To be among Germany’s sharpest minds.
                      Collaborating for...for...

                                LILY
                      The security of a fractured nation?

                                VICTOR
                      Our nation.  And someday hers.  Who does
                      she talk to out there?

            EXT. COTTAGE - CONTINUOUS

            By herself Maria’s at high tea nodding to no one.

                                MARIA
                      Uncle says it’s colder when there’s no
                      snow.  The river is frozen.  I seen him
                      cross it.  I’ll follow him, tell him.
                      Let him see you for real before he goes.

            BACK TO SCENE

            E/I. BUCHENWALD - BUILDING IV - DAY

            A finger traces the lettering on the plaque.  A figure goes

            INSIDE

            and hears VOICES.  Follows the source upstairs.  Stops on a
            stair with a broken bannister spindle leaning against the
            rail.  Steps over it.  Gets to the top of the stairs.

                                VICTOR (O.S.)
                      I can remember when I was a little boy...

            An ear presses against a door to hear LAUGHING from inside.

                                VICTOR (O.S.)
                      Wunderbar!  More tea?

            The eavesdropper is Vaas.  His face is beat up and bandaged.
            He lifts a fist but doesn’t knock.  Checks the doorknob to
            see if the door is locked when it swings wide open on him.

            Victor, standing in the doorway, glares at Vaas.

                                VAAS
                      No!  Wait.  I send your letters.

                                VICTOR
                      You should not be here.

                                VAAS
                      You think different after I tell you what
                      happened to me.  Please, may I speak?

            INT. VICTOR’S ROOM

            Victor cleans tea cups off the only table.

                                VAAS
                      My name is Vaas.  Who were having tea
                      with?  I heard you talking to someone.

            Victor stops dead in his tracks.

                                VICTOR
                      I was working.  Why are you here?  What
                      happened to your face, hmm?

                                VAAS
                      Funny.  The answer to both questions is
                      the same.  There was a little girl.

            EXT. CARNIVAL CAMPGROUND - CONTINUOUS

            On the outskirts of the campground Josef dumps urine from two
            buckets.  The macaque pops out of his overalls.  Jumps down,
            CHIRPS.  Runs into the trees.

                                JOSEF
                      Find her, Himhim.

            The macaque runs up to

            INGRID

            sitting in the dirt tearing strips of cloth from a black
            velvet robe.  She pets the macaque.  Sees Josef.

                                INGRID
                      I told you.  It’s never good for anyone
                      to touch me when I’m doing it.  That’s
                      why I ran away.  No more now.  I mean it.

                                JOSEF
                      No more, I promise.  Why do you follow us
                      when you can go anywhere you want to?

                                INGRID
                      I told you.  I’m looking for a man.

                                JOSEF
                      To show him things?  Am I going to be a
                      clown?  Why won’t you show me?

                                INGRID
                      Josef, listen to me.  It’s not a trick.
                      When you see me like that it’s not me.
                      I’m like a telephone wire for talking to
                      God.  Do you understand?

                                JOSEF
                      You’re the Fatima girl then, right?  What
                      does He say?  He knows if I’ll ever be a
                      clown.  Can’t you let Him show me?

                                INGRID
                      It’s wrong for anyone to see what He
                      shows them.  They’re not supposed to
                      know.  Josef, I have to go see the man
                      you brought to me the other night.  

                                JOSEF
                      Because he touched you?  He didn’t
                      believe.  I made him believe.

            INT. VICTOR’S ROOM - LATER

            Vaas implores Victor to believe, but Victor’s not buying it.

                                VAAS
                      I’m telling you.  I wouldn’t believe it
                      either, but I saw her.  I saw...

            Vaas punches his thigh trying to stay focused.

                                VICTOR
                      Herr Vaas, you’re not making sense.  You
                      broke cover to tell me a girl who walks
                      backwards showed you things?

                                VAAS
                      You think this is funny?  Let me ask you,
                      what would happen if the letters stopped?
                      From me to you to your mirror, and so on.
                      What would you do then?

                                VICTOR
                      Ist sedition!  Security rests with us
                      fulfilling our duty.  The letters have to
                      keep flowing.

                                VAAS
                      You don’t know.  I’m telling you.  I know
                      all the answers to all the questions a
                      mind could ever wonder to ask.  Think.

                                VICTOR
                      I think, Herr Vaas, the strain has gotten
                      to you.  I think I will write a letter
                      stating you be relieved, debriefed, and
                      then committed.  You are not well.

                                VAAS
                      I’ll show you.  The carnival is not far
                      from my post.  I dare you.  My post is--

                                VICTOR
                      DON’T tell me that.  GET OUT!

                                VAAS
                      Five, zero, three Marbuffplatz,
                      Mauthausen.  Five, zero, three--

            Smirking Vaas taunts him repeating the address.  Leaves.

            Victor SLAMS his door.  Tries to compose himself by cleaning.

                                VAAS (O.S.)
                      I heard you before.  Trying to distract
                      yourself from what you don’t know.  She
                      showed me!  She can show you what the
                      devil knows about you!  See for yourself.

                                VICTOR
                      Letters must keep flowing.  Go away. 

            Silence.  Victor sits.  Starts a letter, but stops. He
            writes: “503 MARBUFFPLATZ.  MAUTHAUSEN.”

            EXT. MAIN STREET - BUCHENWALD - NIGHT

            The only person out Victor sneaks peeks at lighted windows.
            MUMBLES responses to the conversation in his mind. 

                                VICTOR
                      Don’t feel I...no.  I have to know.  You. 

            His mumbles turn into an inner diatribe.  His body language
            becomes a fit of shrugs and finger pointing.  He gets to a

            BEER HALL

            whose lights and LAUGHTER contrast the desolation outside.
            Victor contemplates entering.  Startled, he pivots.

                                VICTOR
                      What do you want?

            WERNER, nestled in an alcove across the street, watches.

                                WERNER
                      Just to talk, that’s all.

                                VICTOR
                      Oh.  Well for just to talk you go in
                      there, hmm?

                                WERNER
                      You didn’t go in because you’re better
                      than them.  You have an obligation.  Men
                      with obligations can’t waste their time.

            Looking past Werner, Victor notices children into mischief
            down an alley.  His attention is drawn to a girl among them.

                                WERNER
                      Like you I have no wife, no children.  No
                      distractions from my obligation, not that
                      there is any in this miserable
                      Buchenwald.  Men like us, we--

            Werner turns to see what Victor is looking at.

                                WERNER
                      You there?  Get away!  Go before I...   

            As the Children bolt Victor shudders as if reliving a
            terrible accident.  Leaves Werner talking to himself.

                                WERNER
                      Herr Barchas?  If I may say--

                                VICTOR
                      You have no choice but to say.

                                WERNER
                      You’re an important man.  You don’t care
                      what others think. Me too, I’m OK with
                      that.  But what I want to know is this.
                      How long before the acknowledgement?

                                VICTOR
                      The question then is how long, hmm?

            Victor blots his forehead.  Removes his glasses.

                                VICTOR
                      You think that loneliness merits
                      acknowledgement?  That it is some great
                      virtue to be single-minded of duty?  That
                      all the splendors of life and youth are
                      distractions from some nobler calling?
                      You absolute idiot.

            With the focus and power of a tightly coiled snake Victor
            spits his answer to the slack-jawed Werner.

                                VICTOR
                      How long?  When that nobler calling
                      forgets you, and there is no one left to
                      talk to but only your single mind, and
                      the painful certainty of duty makes you
                      gasp as if you were being dragged under
                      by a thousand drowning men THEN, and only
                      then, can you ask how long.

            Crushed, Werner shrinks away from Victor who calms.  Victor
            puts on his glasses and does a double take at

            THE GIRL

            from the side street standing under a street light staring
            right at him.  She turns and runs away.

            All alone and frightened, Victor hurries into Building IV.

            INT. VICTOR’S ROOM - LATER

            Steam rises from the tea kettle on the table.  The colored
            string from the map is curled around the light cord.

            Victor comes in wearing a newspaper hat.  Unwraps two
            beautiful demitasse.  Pours tea into them and sits.  

                                VICTOR
                      Happy birthday.  Older we get the smaller
                      the cups they ask us to drink from, hmm?

            Victor sips from his cup.  Admires his meager surroundings.

                                VICTOR
                      Where’s the waiter?  No bother.  People
                      don’t understand half the pleasure of the
                      meal is the anticipation, hmm?  More tea,
                      Maria?  No.  Open your gift then.

            Victor looks around for what might substitute for the gift.
            Opens an envelope by the window.  Takes out the letter.

                                VICTOR
                      Oh, a beautiful cameo of you for the
                      occasion.  Your grandmother had one done
                      of her, your mother of her, and now...

            His concentration drifts.  Slides the paper hat off his head.
            Disassembles the rest of the charade.

                                VICTOR
                      What is happening?  You were told, no
                      ordered.  Orders give us purpose.
                      Purpose gives us clarity.  Why didn’t you
                      do what you were told? 

            Victor puts on his overcoat.  Grabs his bowler hat.

            EXT. COTTAGE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

            Victor adjusts his hat.  Smiles at a toppled tea cup on the
            old table. 

                                VICTOR
                      Maria?  Commun here.

            Maria runs around the corner.  Her face is flush.

                                VICTOR
                      What were you doing over there?

                                MARIA
                      Just nothing, uncle.

                                VICTOR
                      Nothing?  Like leaving your best china
                      outside for anyone to come and take.

                                MARIA
                      Are you finally having tea with me?!

            He offers his cane to her; she grabs it.  They walk along the

            BANKS OF THE FROZEN RIVER

            past the compound of striped tents on the other side.

                                MARIA
                      We’re not crossing here?

            Maria’s hand climbs over Victor’s.

                                VICTOR
                      (pushes her hand away)                 
                      Don’t...know for sure the river’s frozen.

            Let down, Maria sees the tents and clumsily walks backwards.

                                VICTOR
                      Why are you walking like that, hmm?

            Face partially painted like a clown, Josef watches Victor
            following Maria walking backwards from the far bank of the
            river.  He scrubs off the make-up and runs toward the tents.

                                VICTOR (O.S.)
                      I’m leaving again.  Maria, keep away from
                      people you don’t know.  Understand?

            AT A SMALL WOOD BRIDGE

                                MARIA
                      But uncle I have something to tell you.

                                VICTOR
                      Tell your mother what I told you instead.
                      And this.  Stay with her.  She needs you.
                      She’d go crazy without you to love.

                                MARIA
                      But Uncle Victor, she’s just across--

                                VICTOR
                      NO she is NOT.  She’s at the house. 

            Maria gives up trying to be heard.  Just stands there.

                                VICTOR
                      So anxious of the lady you will become.

                                MARIA
                      But I can know what I’ll become.  My tea
                      parties, I made a friend.  She can--

                                VICTOR
                      Maria!  I know you want me to play tea
                      with you, but I am too old for that, hmm?

            Maria endures a pat on the head.  Watches Victor disappear
            over the bridge.  Looks at the tents.  Step onto the ice.

            BACK TO SCENE

            EXT. 503 MARBUFFPLATZ - MAUTHAUSEN - NIGHT

            Ingrid stares at the address.  Looks through a window.

            E/I. 503 MARBUFFPLATZ - MAUTHAUSEN - DAY

            Victor pushes through a crowd around the front door.  He
            glances over a shoulder to see

            A BLOOD TRAIL

            in the foyer.  Victor falls through the crowd into the foyer.

            This gets the attention of OFFICER KATZ.  In his 30’s, he’s
            tall, handsome, and has an air of privilege about him.
            Circles up to Victor. 

                                OFFICER KATZ
                      I never saw you before.  Who are you?

                                VICTOR
                      Just no one.  What happened here?

            ON INGRID.  In the crowd, she stifles a yawn hearing Victor.


Posted: 05:46, 2006-Jun-19
Add Comment

Somethoughts on your script so far

I'm a little unsure about this story thus far. Fromthe opening voice over I was expecting a psychological breakdown type of thriller, but I'm not sure that's where you're going.

So far I think you're capturing the moodiness of the setting well, but at 20 minutes in I'm ready for some real conflict to start showing. Just my opinion.

Posted by Imperitus at 10:06, 2006-Jun-20

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