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The process of rewriting the script during development is usually too tightly controlled. If you try to over-control and structure a writer through strict outlines, long sets of notes, treatments, etc., you’ll miss out on the marvelous things that come out of a good writer’s head when encouraged to improve on his work in a more constructive way.

Be constructive in your analysis of the various drafts with the writer. Focus more on the good things in the work than the problems or plot holes. Consult the writer’s creative understanding of the problems in the script, gently. Saying, “I like this bit, but I’m not getting it fully”, and suggesting you act out or improvise the scene with the writer goes a long way and helps them discover the plot hole or problem themselves… and they learn something.

Don’t coddle them, but urge them gently to do their best work. You need to always keep in mind that most talented writers are usually sensitive people who need a lot of support. You need to allow for the personal equation in the development of stories, which many people on the business side of film simply don’t understand. If you want a good script, you have to allow for it, because the best writing is the projection of a unique personality.

Every script, no matter how experienced the writer, will have technical errors, and these need to be ironed out with a director's and script editor’s discerning eyes. This is also where the group discusses the direction of the story and the strength of the story and scenes.

When you go into the development phase, the first thing that has to be done is to break down the script and restructure the story. In many cases, you have a script that was written using the 3-act structure or doesn’t contain a structure at all.

By tightening up the structure and developing the plot and characters, you have a better chance of entertaining the audience and making money at the box office.

Those attending the script conference should be the director, producer, writer, and PA. In some cases, sometimes further on in script development, you would include the director of photography, all who read the script and discuss elements of improvement. All those involved in the script meetings during development MUST possess screenplay-editing skills in order to correctly identify areas that need improvement and provide solutions. The reason for assigning a PA to the group is to mark up the script with all the agreed-upon improvements that have been discussed and give it to the writer.

Before sending it to you, most writers have already sent their script to a script analyst or script doctor who goes through the script with a red pen and makes notes right on the page (where the mistakes are made) where the writer can see them and can then make the recommended changes. To change this standard procedure and just give the writer reams of notes on separate paper is a useless exercise and most often won’t even be read, much less applied.

The first thing to do after you’ve greenlit a script for development is to break that script down to its structure parts. There are about 22 structure beats or plot-points to great stories, but the 8 listed below will give you the best basic framework to start with Surprisingly, these 8 points are missing in 90% of scripts, but every one of them are present in the twenty top grossing films of all time. Firstly, you want to know (in order):

1. The difficult situation the hero finds him or herself in at the beginning of the story.

2. The lack within the hero that has to be fulfilled by the end of the script if the hero is to have a good life. This is a personal problem like a fear, phobia or addiction. This doesn’t really have an effect on anyone but the hero (and those closest to them). On the other hand, you also want to know how the character acts in a negative way towards other people. This is character motivation—and what the actor means when they ask, “What’s my motivation? What is the justification for the character to do this or act like that?” Apart from what the hero and other characters do in the story, the audience has to have an emotional connection to the characters.

3. What does the hero want to achieve by the end of the movie? What’s his or her goal? Externally, the hero has some character flaws and his goal is directly connected to the problem he faces at the beginning of the story. We’re going to watch the hero fight overwhelming odds—over the course of the story—to get to his goal. But that’s not all. Internally, the hero also has fears, phobias, or addictions they have to overcome by the end of the story and become a better person and these are some of his obstacles to his goal. He’s getting in his own way on an emotional level and he’s treating people like crap. Overcoming this underlying lack in his life and learning how to treat people properly is what makes him go from wimp to winner or from a cynic to a participant in life.

4. Who is going to stop the hero from getting to his goal, and why? If the hero is having problems, there is always someone that is the major cause of them and who wants to stop the hero from getting to their goal. In order to have conflict we’ve got to have someone keep the hero from getting what he wants. For that Opponent to be a true opponent, he should have the same or a similar goal as the hero. He should also be the best person to expose the hero’s fears, addictions or phobias (their dark secrets) and stomp on them mercilessly. This competition is made more powerful if the opponent is a shadow aspect of the hero. In the Scottish play, Hicate is the shadow aspect of Macbeth.

5. The hero needs to have some kind of plan of how he’s going to reach his goal and deal with his opponent. In order to overcome the opponent and reach the goal the hero has to have some idea—some set of guidelines—that will help him reach that end. But so does the opponent. This punch-counter-punch is going to play out in the second act.

6. If you’re going to have an argument, it needs to lead to a battle. During the middle of the story, we have an escalating conflict where the hero and the opponent both fight for the goal. That’s the moment when the hero and the opponent battle to decide who is actually going to win. Punch-ups are boring and the two sides never learn much except that punches hurt. It has to be a battle of values, not a case of who is physically stronger or who has more power over the other. And someone will reach the goal in the battle. It’s a test. And by going through that battle, the hero must will undergo change or the writer must show clearly why they didn’t.

7. This test is so intense that the hero is forced to see himself for the first time as he really is. This is the Self-revelation. And this insight is so powerful that it does one of two things: either the hero realizes who he is for the first time and this gives him tremendous strength or what he learns about himself is so negative that it destroys him.

8. So we end the movie with everything back to normal but with one big difference, the hero has won or lost the goal, and has learned valuable lessons.

Producers and production executives often lack the patience needed to develop a good script. It might take three or four full drafts to get a screenplay into decent shape. The standard two drafts and a polish deal is usually inadequate if the author is a first-time writer. Screenplays must work on many levels: dramatically, cinematically, narratively, and all within a time limit. The producer has to be patient and understand that it’s difficult for a writer to achieve everything in two drafts. That is why the script conferences are so important. With the 8 points in hand, you can go into the conferences at least somewhat armed.

The area of rewriting is where most “development hell” raises its ugly head. Sparse development introduces problems where the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.

The poor writer is subjected to being interrupted by people coming in and recommending script and scene changes without the changes being discussed and agreed upon in the script conferences first.

This is one of the scariest things an inexperienced writer faces. The other is being replaced by another on the project/script they originated. The reason for the script conferences is to help the writer create greater character development and depth, to enforce genre rules and open the door to transcending the genre and expanding the writer's creativity and knowledge…

When the proposed changes have been discussed and agreed on, the writer goes off to rewrite. Don’t give the writer endless notes because they actually don’t help but hinder the creative process. The meeting-rewrite back and forth continues as many times as the contract requires.

Editing a screenplay is a little like a puzzle—you change something, it throws everything else out of whack. This is why breaking down the script into its structure elements is so important. You have to be deeply involved in the process to edit a screenplay, and you get involved through discussion, reflection, and then more discussion. To really know the problems is to sympathize with them; this reflection will bring you closer to being able to help the writer and director solve the problems.

The catch phrases that development people sometimes use are clichéd and the rules they follow are too general. It is a mistake to use terms such as "character arc" and "character journey" when reviewing a screenplay. Using language like this only serves to alienate a writer. It’s not beneficial to the creative process to try to reduce screenplay writing to a formula.

Don’t try to develop projects without a director. Most writers feel more at ease developing a screenplay with a director rather than a producer or executive. The director has a great deal to do at this period in helping the writer to expand their visual horizons. Every scene means something and extracting this meaning with the writer's help and their intention for the scene makes the director and writer a great creative team. Two heads are better than one, and even a comment like “The family ain't Jewish enough. Here's how we make them more Jewish” can help the writer considerably in creating 3D characters that jump off the screen and archetype to the audience. This is why it's important to bring a director in at development rather than treat them as a director-for-hire before principle photography and say “Here's the script, direct it as written”.

Also, be careful of overdeveloping the script. Overdevelopment happens when a producer has trouble setting up a project and thinks that by adding certain more commercial ingredients it will magically make the script work better.

A producer often panics and asks the writer to change something after hearing one or two negative things about the script. This is unprofessional and unproductive behavior.

The package is extremely important because it affects your ability to secure a distributor or sales agent, and, consequently, your ability to secure financing.

Banks use distribution contracts and sales agent estimates to determine whether to lend production financing, and private ****** investors are more apt to invest when they recognize the cast members.

When the developed script has been completed, it’s now time to break down the final draft and do a full budget. The other team members can now start post-production preparation, finding distributors and completion guarantors, and getting interest from and locking in major cast ready for pre-production.

Financiers, such as ****** investors, ******s, distributors, syndicators, co-producers, and others like you, need film product from independent producers in order to stay in business. They are not doing the producer a favor by financing a film. They make money by investing in film production.

You have to convince financiers that the project satisfies two criteria: a). you have to establish that the production crew is sufficiently experienced, well organized, and capable of completing the film; and b). that the project is sufficiently commercial so that projected revenues will return both the principal amount invested plus a return of interest and/or profit. By demonstrating knowledge of film production, including budgeting and an understanding of the producer’s obligations that remains, the producer will enhance his or her chances of obtaining financing.

There are many reasons why film finance packages fail. But, there are three major reasons:

People like success and investors will invest in successful people. If a producer starts out small with a small project but demonstrates that they have made money from it, the end result is that they have made a profit. Now they have a profit making “credit” as well as a production credit. Success breeds success.

There are also some factors a corporation or organization considers in deciding whether or not to sponsor a film.

4. Positive use of the company name/premises as advertising or as a location within the film.

d) Option agreements, literary property acquisition agreements, copyrights, WGA registered

f) Letters of credit, and/or letters of intent from other financiers and/or distributors

g) Insurance policies; and/or any other documents evidencing important legal commitments and rights

6. Letters of Intent from the Producer, Director, Key Cast, and Key Crew, including fees

1. The Budget of the Film: This should exclude any estimate of bank fees, bank legal costs or bank interest on the production loan. It should include a full 10% contingency, completion guarantee fee, and a projected cash flow schedule referencing the projected draw dates under the proposed facility.

6. The Delivery Date. Back end delivery date (including allowances for unforeseen circumstances).

7. Details of Completion Guarantor: Letter of Intent from a reputable and financially strong bonding company that they intend to bond the project, protecting the bank and the distributor or investor who puts up the collateral for the loan. The collateral must be in an amount sufficient to cover the negative cost of the film as well as all financing charges, including an interest reserve for the entire term of the loan, inclusive for the "Force Majeure" period, loan fees and bank legal fees which are paid by the borrowers.

9. Details of a Reputable Producer/Director: Complete biographies are required to verify experience.

11. Contract Details: Details of the principal distribution or a pre-sale contract from a financially strong and reputable Distribution Company, evidencing a minimum guaranty for certain rights of the film in a particular market.

15. Details of any holdbacks that might restrict any initial release of the film.

The Agreement must be for a specified dollar amount (as opposed to a percentage of box office receipts). The Agreement must be payable at a date certain or determinable.

Now that the hard work is over, you can now wait for the funding to be okayed ready for the greenlight to go into production.

NOTE: Remember, pre production is part of the production phase, not the end bit of development.

WSAI Virtual Studios

Michael Wilde

WSAI Virtual Studios

Westgarth Production Services

Phone: +61 043 506 4350

Email: wildeprods@yahoo.com

Web: www.myspace.com/offworld

Cyn Felthousen

Cladda Films

21014 Dumetz Rd

Woodland Hills, CA 91364

Email: ckfelt@yahoo.com

Motion Picture Development Pt 1

Below is an article that was posted in the WSAI newsletter that is sent out to member writers, producers, actors and production service providers. The reason I have posted it here in this blog is to let you know the process of development and how to do a rewrite on your script before you send it to your agent or a producer.

Before you can go into production, you need to find a script to produce. We all hope to find that perfect script that we can go straight into production with, but these are few and far between. Even Steven Spielberg and James Carpenter have had passes on their scripts as recently as last year. My own stats on this is that, on average, one script in every 3000 that you get will have an engaging premise and a great story that you can use, and has been written in such a way that it is actually filmable. One in 40,000 will be so perfect that you can go into development with and have the writer sitting there twiddling their thumbs while the director does his or her breakdown and marks up the script. On average, more than 86,000 scripts are received by production companies and studios every year, and only a dozen or so actually go into production.

Don't throw away a script because the title of the screenplay is “Shit Happens”. Titles can be changed. But generally, Readers won't read the script at all and refuse to admit it came in unless it was written by a well-known writer. In the main, the consensus is that if the writer displays a lack of respect for the industry by naming his script “Shit Happens” not only would they expect the script to reflect the title, but consider that the writer lacks both creativity and knowledge of the working principles of the industry. The point here is that in one case, apparently, the writer couldn't think of a title, so wrote “XXX” until he could think of one, and it became the title of the movie.

The Reader is sometimes seen as the first line of defense against bad scripts. Their lack of knowledge of storytelling and the screenwriting process is sometimes not seen as a problem; after all, this knowledge is the Story Editor's business, isn't it? The Reader's opinion—whether they liked the story or not—is usually the filter which decides whether the script goes up the food chain or into the trash. This kind of thinking makes the Reader extremely vulnerable to being fired for allowing a bad script to get through. It is also the reason bad scripts get through.

The union that handles Readers and Story Editors is the Editor's Guild. It's only in recent history that film editors have taken these guys under their union wing. In the first six months of employment it is expected that the Reader be paid $26.33 per hour or $1,053.20 per week, with a weekly guarantee of 40 hrs (paid 1.5x after 40 hrs) with a minimum call of 8 hrs. Remarkably, the majority readers (mostly wannabe screenwriters) don’t even last the week, then put up a shingle as a $50 script analyst, citing they worked for the production company or a studio in their advertising.

If you're going to pay a Reader this much, you want to make sure they are accurate in their situations.

During this first six months, even though the reader has done a standard 2-week course on how to situate a screenplay, it is up to the employer to provide extra training, not only on the finer points of their work with the company and what types of stories the company is looking for, but to provide further education on all aspects of their materials so they eventually can become Story Editors and learn to provide screenplay development notes for the Development Exec. In this way you can tailor-make your Readers and keep them rather than employing a $50-dollar-per-script Reader/wannabe screenwriter that you can fire at a moment's notice or send back to Reader's school to relearn how to read scripts. It will save you a lot of money in the long run.

During this 6 month period, while you're interning readers, they should be entitled to 4 hours a day study time. This study time would be best spent listening to and studying John Truby's 'Great Screenwriting' audio course and to regularly attend his workshops. Then you can have the Reader study his genre courses. This creates a powerful Reader who will not pass on great stories, will not have you consider bad scripts or even recommend bad ones. This power will transmit to the company where you can't help but produce great movies.

A script comes in, is registered and date-stamped, and is given to the Story Editor; this person manages the company's stable of script readers, and usually keeps the script library and coverage files. The Story Editor logs the script in and sends it out for coverage. It goes to a reader first, to read and situate. If the script is with the reader it was submitted to, he may take a copy home for him or herself. If the reader has the knowledge of the business of Hollywood and Hollywood storytelling they can make an accurate situation. After reading it and providing coverage: a logline, synopsis and comments, they grade the script on it's various points: writing quality, plot, characters, cinematic quality, proposed budget level, premise, story structure, dialogue, and recommendations (pass, consider, recommend). A copy of the coverage should always be sent to the writer. If they aren't told what elements don't work or aren't given tips on improving the script, they learn nothing and don't improve the script. They just think you didn't like it or isn't your type of story. Don't hang them on a mystery.

Both the Considers and Recommends are then given to the Story Editor in separate piles who then situates them using a different set of standards. This whittles down the piles to the best scripts in each, and is handed to the development exec who reads them, writes (or has written) screenplay development notes and decides which scripts to pitch to the company. If the story idea interested you, but you believe it needs work, you can send it back to the writer with the coverage and situation and include a slip where, after they have worked on the script, they can resubmit it and be fast-tracked.

If a script comes in that may be not to your liking or budget, but was extremely well written and you think you can shop it to a company that produces this style of film, option the script first and give it to the development exec to put the word out. In Hollywood, development execs sometimes tend to congregate like wildebeests around a watering hole. This is their opportunity to offload the script to a company that is looking for just that kind of story.

When the company decides which scripts they are interested in, a final filter should be performed—interviewing the writer—so the development exec calls them in to pitch their story. This allows ****uation of the writer to make sure they are open to be involved in the development phase, will be easy to work with, and will be a team member.

This is usually done earlier in the piece, but is best done at this stage just before the actual buying or optioning takes place. Many newbie writers are protectionist after hearing horror stories given to them by other writers (trying to cut down their competition), so be gentle with them. Many of the most creative writers are shy and reserved and not at all like the outgoing players we expect to see in our offices pitching their stories. But you also don't want a writer that is so green that they will say 'yes' to anything, will refuse to let go of the copyright, or want be a producer on the project when they're not a member of the PGA or don't know the extent of what a producer actually does.

Unfortunately, many small Indies neglect this all important section of the food chain, especially for in-house written screenplays. There really should be no exceptions.

As producers, executive producers, and even directors, you should apply this section of the food chain when asked to produce or even direct a film in order to ****uate a project you won't be embarrassed to include in your resume.

Some major actors such as Sandra Bullock put scripts through the hoops in this way, to make sure it meets with their criteria, the type of characters they play, and meets with their approval before accepting the role. But, on the other hand, don't typecast the actor. If the right script comes along even a comedy actor such as Adam Sandler will be happy to do a drama. In voting for Best Actor or Best Support for the Oscars, many actors look for an actor that has taken a role outside of their comfort zone and base their vote on how well and how believable the actor presents the character.

The first thing you should do when engaging the writer during development is work with them to break down the script into its structure parts. Ten times out of ten you will find scenes in the wrong place (see the Catwoman script/film comparison below).

When a writer comes to us—and in some cases if it gets a “potential” from me—we work with the writer to restructure the script. This is not necessarily a rewrite, but what I call a tweak, because major structure points will be also missing. When this is completed it is greatly improved, the writer learns something new, and you get a great script with many of its potentialities met. If the completed drafts even blow our sox off, we will put our money where our mouth is.

On the 16^th of June 1995, Daniel Waters completed his draft of Catwoman, written in the 3-Act Structure, and sent it off.

After John Brancato & Michael Ferris, Laeta Kalogridis, Theresa Rebeck, Kate Kondell, and John Rogers did revisions, the second draft polish was completed on February 11 2003, still not right, but there were elements introduced that worked and made it a more interesting story. Here's a quick look at the evolution to what was shown on the screen, and the major difference between the second draft polish and the completed film.

The first three opening scenes of the screenplay are condensed into the title sequence in the film for their foreshadowing of the subject matter by using the cat and Catwoman theme throughout history in quick montage sequences. By themselves, the opening 3 scenes of the second draft polish are just pretty pictures that do not propel the story forward or set up the tone of the film.

The second draft polish doesn’t hold a candle to the film because the script neglects to introduce Patience’s Problem/Need and Desire or to set up the main characters, the context of the city, and Patience’s association with it in the beginning; going instead straight to Patience’s meeting with Edna (later changed in the film to ‘Ophelia’ for the pun factor—‘I feel your’) Powers, without setting either of them up as characters first.

This is handled in the opening scenes of the film by establishing the city, and quickly sets up Patience’s need and desire through V/O as she rushes to work. Myth is circular; and the V/O introduces the character and story by Patience recalling the past. Then we are introduced to the ally Sally; the first major opponent, George; and Patience's major opponent, his wife, who acts as a false ally/opponent lulling us into a false sense of security with her.

The second draft polish becomes a hotchpotch of unrelated scenes in the hurried attempt to set up characters, and at the end of Act One (page 30) finally has her fall in to the river and drown for no apparent reason.

The film handles this major mistake in the script by putting Patience in early and constant danger, giving an actual reason for her to fall in the river and drown; after overhearing the conspiracy and almost getting caught.

The script as well as the film starts off Act 2 with Patience washed up on the rocks. But the film transposes Patience’s meeting with Ophelia from page 3 to here as a mentor to explain her new life and powers to her, and begin her Range Of Change (transformation) from wallflower to Catwoman.

The scene on page 20 is transposed to here in the film to have Patience instead of Sally look in the store window (clothing changed to jewelry—cats like glittery things) and to uncover the conspiracy that the cosmetics made and sold by the opponents (her bosses) are toxic.

The script, in the attempt to introduce conflict, causes a major plot hole by harping on cats hating Patience, which is unrealistic. Cats respect those that respect them; otherwise they would not bother to save her—no reason for them to cause her to become Catwoman.

The script is difficult to read because it goes off in all directions. There is no clear set -up, play out, pay off in any of the scenes or in the story itself. There is no real structure to the script which is why it’s buttered all over the universe. With Act 2 I almost fell asleep because nothing was happening; because it seemed to be just a link to Act 3.

The film inserts the drive by Patience trying to uncover her murderer, becoming obsessive about it, and she uncovers and does something about the conspiracy that lead to her death. The script makes this just a matter of course.

The battle in the film becomes a battle of values between herself and her major opponent, George’s wife. The script provides just a battle.

In some cases, if the writer already knows the Classic Structure, we will give them our Script Structure Form and Plot Notes Form to fill out. This enforces the structure for them and makes the plot elements clear. That way they can do some tweaking themselves in order to improve the story before they send it off to their agent or to you. The completed (and updated) Plot Notes Form is added to the package that would be given to the Exec Producer, Investor, distributor or studio, because these contain elements of the story a publicist can use in promoting the movie, or a producer can use to pitch to a studio. A sample plot notes form for a screenplay is attached to this newsletter.

When restructuring is completed, then you can look at the genre. As most scripts contain more than one genre, decide which will be the main genre of your story and weave the secondary genre through the story, laying it alongside. Maybe you feel the detective story you have would be best presented as a Fantasy, Horror, or even a Sci-Fi. In this way you can lay the detective genre beside as the secondary genre. Then you can go into standard script development. You have just completed your raw development draft. Since most second drafts are worse than the first, (and I have seen some scripts with up to 15 drafts) this is where you have your first script meetings to discuss elements of improvement of the script.

The list below is 15 elements of rewriting the next development draft and elements you need to discuss in the script meetings. John Truby has much more to say on script development in his classes on the subject, but here is just a taste.

All writers know the importance of rewriting. What most writers don't know is that their second draft is almost always worse than their first. This experience, as depressing as it is, has destroyed the career of thousands of writers.

The reason for this decline in quality is that most writers don't know the tricks of story doctoring. There is a particular order to the rewriting process that should be followed if you want your story to improve from draft to draft.

Generally the ideal order of rewriting involves fixing the structural endpoints of the story, then the middle, then the dialogue. Here are the detailed steps of the rewriting process:

The first step in any rewrite is to make sure that your story is designed to say what you want to say. This requires many things.

First be certain that your story is making a strong personal statement. Next, think whether you have given your audience more than they might naturally expect from a story like yours. Then make sure you have looked at the deepest or most central issue inherent to your story.

Finally, check that the story structure and genre you have chosen to tell your story really are the best ones for the feelings and ideas you are trying to get across.

Once you have looked at the overall design of your story, you should immediately move to the endpoint of your story, your character's self-revelation. Every good story focuses to this point, so it is essential that you make sure this moment is meaningful.

Check that your hero actually understands the cause of his/her great weakness. Preferably, the hero's realization will include a new understanding of how he/she has hurt others in the past and how to act better toward others in the future. Based on this realization, your hero should make a decision between two ways of acting and then actually take the action that proves the hero's new understanding.

Finally focus on ways you can heighten the sense that the hero has either reached new heights or fallen to new depths as a person.

After crystallizing your hero's self-revelation, you next want to jump back to the beginning of the story. By fixing the endpoints of the "story string" first, you will have a much clearer sense of how to fix everything along the middle of the story line.

Starting with the psychological elements of your character, clarify the great weakness or flaw that is hurting your hero and preventing him/her from having a better life. Then focus your attention on how your hero is hurting others (if at all).

Try to heighten the seriousness of the hero's "moral crime" by showing another character's pain and by increasing the potential that character has of becoming a better person. You can also heighten the "moral crime" of your hero by making the people he/she injures more intimate to him/her.

Finally, you can increase your hero's moral crime by having him/her hurt more people at the beginning of the story.

Every story, whether tragic or comic, can be improved by increasing the potential of the hero. Potential refers to the hero's latent ability to think, to choose, to accomplish, and to act well. At the beginning of the story, you want to suggest that the hero has the makings of such a person, but for various reasons, has not yet fulfilled that potential. This will allow you to take your hero to higher highs and lower lows over the course of the story.

Also at the beginning, you want to try to increase the potential of the world of your story. This refers to the possibility of the world becoming a more dangerous or a more positive place.

Motion Picture Development Pt 2

The next step in the rewriting process takes you to the end of the story again. This time you want to focus on the overall theme of your story. To do this you must take your audience beyond your hero's revelation to a larger insight about how people should act in the world.

What are some ways to do this? First you can give one or more of your opponents a revelation similar to your hero's. Or you can show other characters failing to have an insight that they should naturally have.

Try to show how all the characters are part of a larger system and that much of what has gone wrong has been because of what this system induces people to do.

Make sure that the central issue that is explored in the story is played out not only within the hero but also in the larger world of the story. You can do this by having minor characters confront a similar issue. If you do, check that the minor characters face a unique outcome at the end of the story.

Check that the final result of the story fits the hero's actions. In other words, if the hero ends up in "heaven" or "hell”, make sure he/she deserves it. Also, when using such extreme endpoints as heaven and hell, make sure you detail them so they really feel like heaven and hell to the audience.

A hellish place must be one in which the hero's most intimate relationships are brutal, treacherous, desperate, and hopeless. A heavenly place must not only be a creative and caring community but one in which the audience could realistically see themselves living.

Returning your focus again to the beginning of the story, try to add details to the characters' world. Emphasize fundamental elements such as the system the hero lives in, the way this world is governed, and the values that are implied in the world. Try to show the way this world operates. Give the hero a position in this world that will make him/her more able to affect the world.

Also try to include references to the national arena and show ways in which that arena affects the world of the story and vice versa.

Now that you have refined the endpoints of your story, you should focus on the key to the middle of the story, the opponent. The first job is to make the hero and the opponents as different from each other as possible. Each character should represent a very different approach to the problem of the hero so that the conflicts among all the characters explore the story issues to the fullest.

Make sure that each opponent is absolutely necessary to the story by having each character attack the hero's weakness(es) in a different way.

Next focus on the way the values of each opponent differ from the values of your hero. These values should refer specifically to how each character approaches the hero's basic problem. More generally, the values should represent each character's entire philosophy for how to live.

Finally, look again at the order of scenes to make sure that the hero's actions lead him/her from the most superficial conflict in the story to the deepest and most far reaching conflict.

The desire line is what links the entire story together. Now that you have fixed the endpoints and the opposition, look again at the story's main line. Make sure it is specific enough to keep the audience involved. Do that by asking yourself: Is there is moment when the audience knows for certain whether the hero has accomplished the goal or not?

Now look at each scene to make sure that the hero is going after the goal with enough intensity. The intensity of the desire should increase steadily throughout the story.

Also make sure that the stakes in the story increase. Whether the hero succeeds or fails should have wider and wider ramifications as the story goes on.

In most stories the more active the hero the better. This requires, among other things, that your hero have a specific plan for how to win. He/she need not write the plan down, but the hero should have specific steps that will lead to success.

At the same time, make sure that the hero's first plan does not work. Check that initial failure causes the hero to do some real soul-searching and come up with an even better plan as the conflict with the opponent intensifies.

Make sure that the opponents too have an active plan for reaching the goal. Emphasize punch-counterpunch between hero and opponent to keep the middle of the story interesting.

To make sure the middle of your story develops properly, focus now on the sequence of revelations, or new information, the hero gains throughout the story. Try to make each revelation more powerful and surprising than the one before. Then consider the revelations logically. Does it make sense that the hero would gain the information in this order?

The key to a rich plot is how much information about the opposition is kept hidden throughout most of the story. See if you can hide some of the resources of the opponent to spring on the hero as the story moves toward its climax.

Now turn your attention to the troubles your hero encounters in the middle of the story. Make sure they become increasingly painful and difficult to handle.

Look for ways to make your battle scene even more intense. Put the hero under tremendous pressure and try to increase the odds against his/her success.

Now focus on the personal elements of the battle. Make sure that the conflict forces your hero to confront his/her fundamental weakness.

Go back to the opening scenes of your story. Make sure you have indicated to the audience your hero's potential for growth or failure by the end of the story.

If your hero will grow at the end of the story, look for ways to suggest the intelligence, sensitivity, charisma, power, or leadership that could emerge if only the hero confronts his/her weaknesses.

If your hero will fall at the end, find ways to suggest the risk, danger and delusion with which your hero is living now, in spite of apparent success.

Now consider some of the other patterns you have established at the start of your tale. Look for two or three story elements the audience would normally think in conflict and show that they are in fact very similar. Next make sure the elements you have placed in conflict represent the deepest oppositions you wish to highlight in the story.

Finally, consider rewriting the opening scene(s) so that it not only starts the story but defines your hero in a fundamental way. In other words, if you had only one scene to show people, through action and words, who your hero is, this should be it.

You can use a number of techniques to close your story with a bang. First, consider the basic story idea. Make sure you have explored this idea as far as possible. Use your final scenes to show the logical endpoint—both emotional and intellectual—of what the characters are trying to do.

Also try to find a way to close with scenes that not only appear realistic but also show the larger abstract theme you are trying to express. Often a gesture or a few lines of dialogue can make the audience see the larger point without the story becoming preachy. You can even use non-realistic actions or techniques to surprise the audience and break them off their focus on the hero.

Finally, make sure your hero has reached the highest highs or lowest lows of which he/she is capable. You can increase these highs and lows not only by what you do to your hero but by how you have other characters react to your hero.

Dialogue is the last, not the first, thing to consider in doing your rewrite. Often, fixing the other elements of your story will improve your dialogue automatically because you are not asking it to carry the story and make up for story holes. Or you may find you don't need to rewrite certain dialogue because other changes have allowed you to cut that scene.

When you do home in on the dialogue, first try to cut any words that state the obvious. If you have shown something in action, you can use the dialogue to comment on that action or show a character's attitude to it.

Next look at the shape of each scene. Make sure your dialogue leads toward a dramatic point that can punctuate the scene and pop the reader to the next scene.

Reread your scenes with an eye to repeating certain key words that express the basic oppositions and similarities in the story. Reread the scenes again to make sure you have included certain values the different characters hold dearly.

Focus again on your self-revelation scene. Make sure that what the hero says here (if he/she speaks at all) has real meaning. If the self-revelation dialogue sounds like a platitude or a cliché, change it here. But also look at earlier scenes where you set up the self-revelation to make sure the dialogue there details the issues on which the self-revelation is based.

Look for a line of dialogue that can serve as your tag line. A tag line is a line of dialogue repeated many times throughout the story in different contexts so that it gains thematic power. If you do not have such a line, try to create one.

Finally, read your scenes out loud over and over again. Cut and rearrange words so that your dialogue has the rhythm of speech.

There are almost as many ways to do development as there are production companies in Hollywood. All have the same idea; to develop a screenplay ready for principle photography. So you don't fall into development hell, here are some essential development do's and don’ts:

DO make sure that everyone that is working in the development phase possess screenplay editing skills. This includes the Reader.

DON'T develop scripts for the lowest common denominator. Insisting that all characters be sympathetic leads to homogenized, boring screenplays. For independent filmmakers, it’s particularly important to leave behind these pedestrian notions of characters because people expect something more original from independent cinema.

DON'T let too many people have a voice in the development of a script. Until you get to a certain point, development works best with one writer and one editor (preferably the director). It is difficult to create a protected environment in film companies, where often even beginning assistants and readers are asked to critique scripts and give the writers notes on how to improve them. The beleaguered writer is asked to incorporate multiple – and often conflicting viewpoints – in his work. The material then becomes attenuated and the ideas diffuse. If the work ceases to be the writer’s own, he or she will cease to care about it and will write just for the paycheck.

DON'T try to over-control a writer, you will miss out on the magical things that come out of a good writer’s head when encouraged to improve on his work in a more constructive way.

DO rethink the actual process of screenplay development. If the art of intelligent story editing were learned or allowed to be practiced, it would help independent producers come up with well-developed scripts that both challenge Hollywood paradigms and offer something distinctive for the marketplace. The best way to achieve these goals is to let the artists have the strongest voice in the development process.

DON'T write lengthy critiques of screenplays. They don't help. A few written notes to articulate a point of view are fine, but writers hate long sets of notes and do not refer to them when making their revisions. Editing a screenplay is a little like a puzzle – you change something, it throws everything else out of whack. You have to be deeply involved in the process to edit a screenplay, and you get involved through discussion, reflection, and then more discussion.

DO mark up your own draft copy with questions and comments to refer to for script meetings which you can then go through and verbally share with the writer. In this discussion, you need to determine what the writer has been trying to achieve with the scenes and characters that aren’t working. You need to provide fairly broad comments about how to improve it. Let the writer know what characters aren’t working, which narrative threads aren’t fully developed, etc.

DO get collective agreement on them with the other members of the meeting, and have the PA write them up. After the discussion, have the PA go through the script and provide a fairly heavily marked up draft for the writer, with suggestions for changes in the margins. That marked-up copy is the most useful editing tool for a writer, rather than separate notes. It’s important to not be too picky about specific scenes or dialogue on a first draft. You’re trying to find a broad way to encourage the writer to keep and strengthen the best elements, and to leave the weakest ones behind.

DO remember that many of the best writers overwrite and people complain, "The story doesn’t take off!” For many writers, over-writing is an important part of the creative process.

DON'T use terms such as "character arc" and "character journey" when critiquing a screenplay. The catch-phrases that development people sometimes use are clichéd and the rules they follow are too general. Using language like this only serves to alienate a writer.

DO speak up if you believe some things in the script aren’t working. Editing a director’s script can be a minefield to negotiate, but you try to get through the process with grace and at the same time stay true to your opinions. Directors should be aware that once they take on the writing process, they must be open to the same type of criticism that writers are.

DO pick projects that you believe in. Many independent producers will put a script into development because they desperately want to announce that they have a project in development. It’s better to wait so that when something comes along that you REALLY want to develop, you can afford to do it. Developing speculative ideas is always risky, and it’s better if the idea belongs to an artist who has the skill to write it. Talented producers know their artistic limitations, and spend their time trying to help directors choose viable projects to develop.

DON'T try to develop projects without a director. There are not many truly creative producers or film executives. Most writers polled will tell you they prefer to develop a screenplay with a director rather than a producer or executive. The producer-director relationship has deteriorated in the film business and films are suffering for it. The most successful producers have ongoing creative relationships with directors.

DON'T allow directors to take on the sole responsibility of the writing in independent films. A creative producer understands how key the writer is to the filmmaking process, and can help a director understand that he or she is not always capable of fashioning the script alone. It’s important to be aware of good writers and to bring them together with directors.

DO beware the overly-enthusiastic writer in initial meetings. Some of the writers who can dazzle people in a meeting are the worst at delivering a good screenplay. Many of the best writers are not all that good at social interactions.

DO fully develop scripts before taking them to financing entities or actors – or before making them into films. By thoroughly developing a script before showing it around widely, a person will increase his or her chances of maintaining creative control and deflecting interference. Heads of companies should not even allow a film to go into pre-production unless the script is well developed – but they do, over and over again.

DO employ scouts and editors – but not development executives. Development executives have a very bad reputation in the film business. This is because unqualified people are often placed in development positions, and they’re not taken seriously by either their employers or the artists. And they’re often in an impossible situation, finding themselves with one ear tuned upstairs and the other – often with the volume considerably lower – to the writer sitting on the couch. Development positions as they exist now cover two separate activities: scouting and editing. Film companies should consider separating the functions – and the world "development" should be eliminated from any job title, since it has such a negative connotation.

You could probably use a title such as “Reconnoiter”, as it means to explore, often with the goal of finding something or somebody. Some scouts should be employed, people who share both similar and different tastes from the executives. But scouts should not also be required to do story editing. It takes a lot of time to properly edit a screenplay. It’s impossible to edit screenplays if you’re attending screenings, spending hours on the phone, and wading through piles of reading and viewing material.

How To Write The Premise

A theme or premise is an idea about life and its meaning. You need to go deep into the narrative and find a thought that will illuminate our view of the world. It should spring from your view of the way the world is and your moral sense of the way the world should be.

95% of writers fail in the premise. You may come up with a great idea for a movie, but if you don't develop it the right way, the best scene writing in the world won't make a difference.

The function of the premise isn’t just to define the moral of the story but to give you the purpose of your plot. The premise helps you in the early stages to develop the story and to understand the scope of change during the course of the narrative itself.

Exploring your premise has to do with discovering the deepest question your hero has to confront in playing out the drama. How your hero answers this deep question is the real stakes of the story; it's what makes the audience want to watch this character struggle and win all the way to the end.

One problem every writer has in forming their premise is choosing a silly one that is totally improbable and causes unintended laughter in an effort to be unique. This is why the majority of Australian films fail at the box office. The writer may have written a perfectly dramatic story or a light drama, but when it gets shown at the cinema the audience is rolling on the floor laughing.

Another problem is that it has a limited premise. This means that it doesn’t expand past the logline. This is what happened with Little Fish. The logline was great and it meant to show drug addicts dealing with their addiction and the lack of promise it gives to their lives. But this wasn’t evident in the film. It seemed to have no theme whatsoever and just show dumb people going through their boring, often stupid events of their lives. The fact that the writer/director wasn’t taught how to write made matters much worse.

Then we have the offensive Premise. If you have some scene or basic idea that is offensive to someone, get rid of it. It won’t be read. Keep in mind that the story should show a way out, not just show live as a garbage can. Your sequence or story should not be designed to abuse people.

Another problem Australian writers have is that they frequently come up with a premise that the audience can’t identify with. Extremely few people are drug addicts or homosexuals and the audience isn’t interested in these sorts of films because it’s not 99.9% of the audience’s world. The audience needs to have some reality on what’s going on and the people and organizations involved in the story. Don’t make a character do something that is too unique or weird.

Your premise should encapsulate what your story is about, giving a sense of the main character and give a sense of the outcome of the story. You have cut out a lot of possibilities, because if your premise line is bad there is nothing you can do to make the story work. Make sure your story idea is worth writing about before you actually start writing it. Make sure your storyline is unique enough to interest other people, not just you.

Get a sense of the central conflict. Unlike The Castle, your story should have both a hero and a person who is trying to stop your hero from reaching their goal. The central conflict in any story is what the two central characters are fighting about.

The theme of a story (sometimes known as the premise) is what your script is about on a deeper level than the actual story. The plot of any film, reduced to one brief statement, is called the premise. By dictionary definition it is: a proposition stated or assumed as leading to a conclusion. If a script editor is asked to sum up Macbeth, he might have said ‘ambition’. Or he might have expanded it slightly and said, “Ruthless ambition drives people to their own destruction”. The premise for Little Red Riding Hood could be “Wolves should make sure there are no woodcutters around before dressing in drag”. Or alternatively, “Little girls should have their eyes tested before visiting their grandmothers”.

Screenplays need to contain thoughts and ideas over and above the bricks and mortar of the actual story they tell. Producers know that Othello is more than jealousy consuming a man so much that he destroys the one he loves. When they read your script, they need to convince themselves that your story has something to tell us about life today, or about human nature.

Evolutionize your Screenwriting Group

Turning Your Screenwriting Group into a Development Center

The reason for a screenwriting group is to provide each member with the feedback he or she needs to forward his or her screenwriting career. Group members share screenwriting knowledge and provide friendly, constructive critiques of each other's script, treatment, or outline. Members also exchange screenwriting books, magazines, tapes, and their experiences finding agents and marketing scripts.

The major problem every writing group has is that the blind is leading the blind. Inexperienced writers are giving critiques to other inexperienced writers or to more advanced writers. So you must segment the group into 4 subgroups.

Members of the higher group must critique scripts for the group directly below them. Only the professional group can be trusted to give critiques to each other.

A development center puts your group into higher gear. It also creates a professional service from your group, and you start to deal with and provide services to independent filmmakers, producers, directors and other writers.

In the marketing section of Dave Trottier’s book “The Screenwriter’s Bible”, he shows you how to start up and maintain your screenwriting group.

A Development Center is the act of making your screenwriting group into a professional service. You do not have you drop your screenwriting group actions, but you now provide the actions that your Writers Guild either doesn’t provide, or is weak on. Listen to the complaints of members of your country’s Writers Guild, and provide a fix to those problems and complaints.

The main complaint about the Writers Guilds in Australia and England is that it supplies only 2% of the services of that of the Writers Guild of America, and the help given to writers are extremely minimal or non-existent and they bow down to producers (or the BBC), allowing a feature script from a newbie to be sold for $4000.

English writers can survive without the BBC. The focus needs to be on independent filmmakers and making sure they are fully aware of the rights and fees a writer should be paid, and publicly exposing those that refuse to come to the party.

Only dumb people sell to a company for below Writers Guild’s MBAs. There is no shame in refusing a sale or option. The problem is that not enough writers are refusing to sell or option to these losers. If you walked into a computer shop and saw a computer on sale for $999, do you think the salesman will accept $50 for it? Of course not! Then why should you accept less than the standard minimum for your screenplay or for your writing work?

As a Development Center, you would fill in the service gap between your Writers Guild and that of the Writers Guild of America and provide these services for a standard fee to the film industry public. Your own members should get a 40% to 60% discount on all services. (Contact us at wildeprods@yahoo.com for details and materials).

When you’ve set up your Development Center, contact other screenwriting groups about them becoming a Development Center, too. Networking between groups (whether development centers or screenwriting groups) is extremely important in strengthening yourselves as writers. Make sure you let your Film and Television Office, Writers Guild and Film Industry body know your group’s details so writers in your area can easily contact you for services, fellowship, training or advice.

In Australia, for example, that means contacting the film and TV office, MEAA, Writers Guild offices and other screenwriting groups in your state, giving them your details, and letting them know what you do that they may not.

A City Office services screenwriting groups, independent filmmakers, producers, directors, production services and writers registered with them. They also act as managers for writers and help them get agents and market and sell their work. They also provide entertainment lawyers and entertainment accountants for writers and independent companies. If your Film Industry body is “Big Brother”, a City Office is “Big Sister”.

There are three City Offices on the planet at present. Melbourne, in Australia. Oklahoma City in Oklahoma, and in Hollywood.

WSAI Virtual Studios

The New Development Phase Pt. 3

Motion Picture Development Pt 1

Motion Picture Development Pt 2

How To Write The Premise

Evolutionize your Screenwriting Group

Turning Your Screenwriting Group into a Development Center

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