Adventures of Austin Girl - Legend of the Serpent Sword: Chapter Six - "Demon in Disguise"

Registration Number : 1241528 Original Story and Screenplay by Carrie Crain a.k.a "Austin Girl" http://www.austingirlblog.blogspot.com Austin Girl, Harold, Jewel and Allergy the cat ride on top of Star the starfish as she soars high above the heavens towards Xanadu. Austin Girl points, “Is that--?” Star shakes her head yes. Harold tells her about the great battle and explains how she received the mark of the beast from Lucifer’s serpent sword. “There was a great heavenly battle. Tens of thousands of angels dispersed across the heavenly plains. Legions of angels scattered like frightened geese, flying across the golden frontier. The angels took sides against each other, many with the Archangel Michael, but many against. The most beautiful angel turned dark and evil. He desired to be ruler over all the angels, master of existence, greater than God. This male angel was Lucifer. Only, there was one angel who hadn’t earned her wings yet who rose to the occasion and fought triumphantly against Lucifer using the only weapon she could find.” Harold leans in close to Austin Girl, holding the serpent sword in between them. “It was you, Austin Girl. It was you who fought against Lucifer with his serpent sword, and it is you who must stab him in his red polyester ass to rid yourself of the mark – the mark of the beast and earn your wings.” Listening with schoolgirl curiosity, Austin Girl grabs the sword, “But, what about rescuing grandpa?” Harold shines his headlamp on the photo, revealing its true quality, “Yeah, yeah, that too.” The photo shows Lucifer lounging poolside ninth floor hell wearing his trademark skin-tight red polyester jumpsuit with flared legs, cape, fake costume devil horns and an oversized glitzy belt buckle with the words ‘DEVIL.’ Austin Girl locks eyeballs with the picture, “Grandpa must be going through torture – only fools wear polyester.” Austin Girl inquires, “Where’s hell?” “Beyond this galaxy, over the ninth land and into thrice kingdom,” Harold answers pointing to a spectacular cluster of red stars that has a sign hanging with an arrow pointing: ‘HELL – THIS WAY.” Star rockets past utopia onto the galaxy’s edge where she nose dives and plummets into darkness. Harold hollers, “Hold on!” Jewel glances back at the purest sight she’s ever seen. Her eyes beg to turn around. Harold yells, “Duck!” Star steers herself underneath a sign that reads: ‘HELL – CAUTION HOT.’ Jewel looks stunned as she pets Allergy, “Can I wait outside?” Star reassures her, “You’ll be safer with me.” A frozen beat. Jewel pleads and looks unhappily at her watch, “Will this be a quick in and out visit? Cuz, I don’t particularly care to stay very long in HELL.” Austin Girl and her entourage arrive at hell -- first floor. Hell is a surprising majestic discothèque complex enclosed by fortified psychedelic walls, red tower and the devil-pitch forked tail shaped fiery ocean spanning zillions of square feet across the dark, somber plains. From underneath the water, huge-ass eyeballs watch Austin Girl and friends cross the bridge. Inside the cave, seventies-inspired atmosphere greets them. A ‘SWINGING SEVENTIES’ poster is plastered in the center of a red cavern wall. To the right and left of this poster hangs a ‘GAY RIGHTS’ and a ‘SEXUAL REVOLUTION’ sign. A labyrinth of Gothic tunnels surrounds an open pit fireplace with racks of polyester jumpsuits hanging above like they are drying. On the ninth floor, Lucifer combs his hair in front of the smoked-stained mirror, admiring his beauty. He turns to the sex kitten trio who are dressed in Halston dresses, platforms and mega Afro wigs of different colors: platinum blonde, pink and purple. The kittens are prowling around in various directions. One is checking on grandpa, another is retrieving Lucifer’s devil horns and sex kitten number one, wearing the platinum blonde wig, shows an upset face because she’s out of milk. She moans and complains, “We’re out of milk.” Adjusting his devil horns, Lucifer tosses her the Chevy keys, “Here, drive down to the corner market and while you there – pick me up MY SERPENT SWORD!” Sex kitten number one runs off crying and thirsty. Lucifer runs up to the other two sex kittens. “Does anyone else want to complain? Is it too hot, shall I turn on the a/c?” Suddenly, from across the way, his Magic Eight Ball lights up. Jumping on his skateboard, he glides over to the glowing Eight Ball. We don’t hear the conversation. Lucifer rolls the Eight Ball into a set of bowling pins. “Strike!” Turning, he glares and smiles wickedly at grandpa, “Austin Girl’s in hell.” Meanwhile, Austin Girl and the gang walk around the open pit fireplace. An eerie FLAPPING noise approaches. The sound is coming from the red-colored tunnel. Harold removes a can from his backpack labeled ‘THE ME DECADE REPELLANT’ and tip toes towards the tunnel. Austin Girl sets her ‘CAT IN THE HAT’ lunch pail down and parry thrusts the serpent sword in the air. She’s clearly ready for action. Jewel holds Allergy and huddles close to Star. Sex kitten number one emerges from the tunnel, crying. Harold sprays her in the face with the repellant, knocking her out cold. She collapses onto the floor and it’s a real bad acting job, but she’s passed out. Austin Girl and Harold prop her up against a rock wall. Harold tells Austin Girl that the only way she can rescue grandpa and stab Lucifer in his red polyester ass with the serpent sword is if she disguises herself as one of his sex kittens. “Austin Girl, you must become a sex kitten demon,” Harold says looking down at the knocked out cold sex kitten. Austin Girl and the knocked-out cold sex kitten swap clothes. Austin Girl is now wearing the red Halston form-fitting dress, platform heels and platinum-blonde mega Afro wig. And, sex kitten number one is wearing Austin Girl’s white kimono. “What about whiskers?” asks Austin Girl. Harold opens up her ‘CAT IN THE HAT’ lunch pail and tears open the catnip bag. “Eat this. Catnip will grow hair on your face,” reassures Harold. Austin Girl reluctantly eats the catnip and grows temporary whiskers. Harold detaches sex kitten’s dragon tail and hooks it onto Austin Girl. Austin Girl hides the serpent sword in the dragon tail. She struts towards the tunnel like a hot momma babe New York City model on a catwalk, disappearing into the darkness.

Posted: 09:45, 2008-May-12

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