Dilman Dila

There's a time in your career when everyone (the people in the industry who read your work) is praising you and saying you have the talent and the potential and that you are really good. And then you start to send your work to producers, and to festivals, and you keep getting the reply "...this is exceleent work, amazing, but unfortunately, we received a number of high quality work..." and you start to wonder whether all this praise is just to make you feel good?

That's how I'm feeling now. I got a rejection letter from a festival, a day after I'd finished shooting a short documentary. And I got this letter after finding out from the bank that I was broke because I put the little money I had in the documentary. Then I started to think twice, just why do i bother? maybe I'm not that good? If the rejection letter had come before I started the shoot, I might have thought twice.

But for many months now, whoever sees the short film I made says 'wow' and 'oh man, this is amazing' and 'jesus, you are good!' and then I was shot full of praise that i thought i should make another one. yet, every festival I send it too has so far been sending back regrets!

I'm so tired of being good! They should just stop being polite and tell me my work is shit! :(