Untitled Comment

Posted on 2008-Jul-24 at 11:16 by Anonymous

you make writing so easy. i like your format and i tink i wlii rty it. can't wait for more
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Feedback and comments

Posted on 2008-Jul-24 at 11:27 by Anonymous

hey you,
i feel like i know you already, man this is great. and i have some scripts with intamate momonts and would love to read them i have this trilogy, about a guy called Haze it's my bests. tell me when you are ready and i will send it to you. thanks anyway for your reply . i will tell you about kenya later but i gotta run to work

stay put cowboy.

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Original message from greatchaser:

haha...LOL. don't glorify me too much. I might melt but, it's good to hear you took the word at heart.

Netherlands is wondeful at the season...warm but kinda size down my writing moments cos i don't want miss any bit of it. That's why it''s taking me ages to read your synops...drop ma comment but hey...it's never too late.

England..good film schools there. good writer but unfortunately we had to mis one of them...Anthony, i blogged about his sudden death and very sad..he was my inspiration.

Am in between a feature script..which am tiring myself revising, hopfully will be ready very soon this month. I might give you a taste of it but, lets first nourish those high hopes that it's gonna go shop well, turn to a great movie which will be showing to the cinema "very" near you...Cos and surprisingly, the ending scenes( almost entire III ACT ) will play in Africa. So, are you going to cross those fingers until they ache or not.

One thing i wanted to come back..something i read on you. You said you want to crusade GAY life with your writing. As a writer..who always keeps his nose into other people's soup..i couldn't help wondering..do you figure it out as a calling, an obligation or a tour of duty of some kind. I mean..i would like to read and give comments on your great stories but, if all i will get to read will be about hurting relation i never experience...don't you think that will be less enticing? With your writing, i would like to read excting, thrilling and dramatising work. Throw in one or a couple of those intimate moments to juice it up...not too much...you'll drown it, ruin the soup but, get me sit at the edge of my chair, thrilled to my socks from what am reading and, that will keep me wanting to read more.

Like you said..most film schools will not tell you that. they teach you to write good screenplays ,the rest is up to your imagination.

hey..i can go on and on but, am beaten. i had a good day at the beach without my laptop or a journal but, i did snik a word o two on my memorecroder...always prepared, you never know when usable materials run onto you.

What can i say..you have a good one and c ya

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Original message from Mukangu:

i can say i went through your comment about my script religiously and i must say you reely took the story to heart. your comments were a bit more detailed than my tutors at writers bureau in england, again thank you and enjoy your weekend. howz netherlands?

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Original message from greatchaser:



Being scared is good and you should, teaches you to be agressive. i don' mean physical, naa, that won't help. aggresive in delivering that message.

I like your story. took me a while to go through it..to scattered( i mentioned that), had to read it twice.
Your character intro---too aggresive. Give readers space get to know each character well. It's a groupie, took time to know detach Dean from Zack etc. and understand their rolls.

It's much dialogue driven..and like i said, not unless characters are well organised you won't tell who is wearing who's pants..and not unless his embodimened in the story is well represented...then you don't have a story
Jizz.. i don't know what i was thinking.. at a certain point i thought these gays are gonna have sex there in front of me. Phew, they didn't, would have my first gay sex though, quite an experience but, i'd rather they didn't. An interesting scene but, then kept me thinking...imagine they did have that sex. What then? thats the end of you movie.
You see, you kept your suporting story. things that you don't want to reveal but suspected are there..what's is going on in the background..The power of inference.
For instance...your buddy Dean---he had past..wife and kid, but this we came to know at the end. What about if you gave Dean nightmares of his deceased wife and kid..anybody watching this will suspect Dean's dark sides..you see...Zack will also be kept thinking..is he or is he not...and just the right moment you will bring this in...e.g like when Dean confessed he was not gay...you would have Zack maybe ask him...THAT'S WHY THE NIGHTMARES?

Sorry i drag this but...besides the talking, calling eachother beautiful and the attempted kiss...what did Dean do that he might not have done but he had to do it to win Zack's friendship? I got the feeling he is playing too hard to get...if i were Zack, i will get pissed off! i won't just accept confession and a prayer...but hey who am i...Zack might be too a wimp to see he's played.

I think thats about it...Silas..it's a good story...now show the picture. show people what you want them see in this gay-straight friendship.
Am not prejudise but i just can't imagine how it feels to be that close to experiencing this kinda relationship..And that's the TENSION you should throw in, that keeps people glued to their chairs waiting for that glorious end.

Show it here.

halleluya