Standing at my place of work,it's a beautiful building with these opaque glass windows and the outside walls worked with the same colour panes giving it a glass house appearance.When you passby you get a feeling that somebody from the inside is watching you.Fascinating Spannish interior,from the walls to the floor,everything seem to screem in Spanish while the corridors and the Pilars supporting the floor above seem to serenade the Muchachus and Lachikas walking through them.Uh!

I feel miserable,why? Am i missing something,somebody? Does this atmosphere reminds me of something,somebody? I got myself asking.. In a matter of fact it did ,these walls,the paintings and the art works on the displays replenish my good old times memories full of Spanish Fiestas and many thoughts of my friends, whom i haven't seen in years and maybe will never see again like my ex girlfriend whom everything in her life was Spanish though had no Spanish blood or upbringing in her. I guess was just an exaggerated obsession .She was a fine artist and she loved Spanish arts.She used to take me to some arts exhibitions and would try to explain to me alot about arts, which some didn't have a faint idea what they were but, i pretended  just to make her day.That made me think how little i knew about art,didn't care though and i didn't think i was the type who would paint or write things which myself didn't have a clue what they were, if i didn't look  them through artistic eyes..

My ex likes visiting countries with some Spanish influence in their culture.No wonder why she could speak such perfect Spanish.I envied her and i liked listening to her speak it, though i couldn't take in no word she was speaking.I hoped she was not calling me funny names and i  think about that today but,  she wasn't an aggresive person.She did speak some Spanish though, when we broke up.I could tell from the flow of the words that she was not praising that moment but  that didn't hurt me in any way.Besides i could not harvest any word she said.I silently thanked her for teasing me in a strange language because thats motivated me to go out there and learn something else other than what i already knew.I thought it was cool especially when you speak it in public.It's just wauw! I got that motivation but didn't have even a slight idea what i wanted to learn.I first thought of Micmakian but that didn't sound interesting and is also not  international at all.Then i thought of French but, almost everybody in Canada could speak it.I needed only to take a bus to Quebec and was like i was in Franch.I didn't like the idea of thinking like a Quebecian while living in Nova Scotia.There was such a contrast in the whole idea. Ok,i needed a quidnace..Or i just had to choose Spanish and steak with my girlfriend. No,that was saddening, my relationship was over and so was my Spanish adventure and was opening a door to a new adventure.I Headed for Europe.

I was new in Europe and everything was very interesting.I was just a new kid on the block and everything was new to me.People,language,weather,food,culture and most of all the whole European mentality.I needed to re-adjust my clock and go with the flow.Though i didn't have a clue what people here will think of me,my fear of rejection was in a contrary to my expectations.I knew i could live anywhere in the world if i wanted to.I needed only to be at the right place and my feeling was telling me this could be it,  it could not be rightier.People liked me,they liked my fucked up accent and they would make fun of me.But that was fun and didn't bring me down,instead it motivated me to speak this strange language even though i could sometimes not even find a word to curse..but Fuck would do too.

At the end of my first year my formidable struggles besided me like an afternoon shadow,i had filled in very good and i was feeling pretty European.And my Language??..it had inproved that i could even tell a complete joke and people would laugh of it without laughing at me instead.I felt like Cosmo in the Gene Kerry film Singin' in the rain.In the film Don Lockwood(Gene Kelly) asked Cosmo what he thought of him as an actor,if he thought Don was a good actor.Cosmo answered him, comically, demostrating a dance "Make them laugh". ..i like oldies and this is my favorite and i seem not the only one. My daughters of 10,5,3 are crazy of this film. They would play this film almost ten times a day. They will push aside every furniture in the living room to create enough space,  they will dance along with Cosmo "Make them laugh"  then  pull out their umbrellas and dance like Gene Kelly. Assuming the whole room is flooded, they will stumb their small feet hard on the floor, jumping up and down, swing around, i have to intervien before they knock everything fro their places. 

 There is nothing i enjoy more like the company of my kids. They are all like me, happy, seem to enjoy life too just like their dad. It's pretty  obvious from their love of films, the way they discuss them  with me, that they understand and feel the context . This doesn't conclude that they all will end up as actresses or screenwritters but, am pretty sure, inside one of them lies a person who understands the context of a good story. 

Writing has always been my fascination and i have been writting as long as i can remember.The down side of me is that i have many other hobbies which sometimes stands my writing in the way and make me leave my work hanging halfway unfinished. There are many scripts i have writen starting from School plays to Musicals, i would like to have some of my work finished and produced, at least show the world what am capable of and deliver that message portrayed in my work. But or if not, these three daughters of mine will one day dig out my statch and will pull out that file,l read aloud and they will remember me and say "You really wanted to make a difference. Write that one down!

There is nothing i regret from my growing up.I look back where i came from,where i have lived,what i have done and i think myself as one of those blessed son of a Mother.She is a wonderful person. She taught me alot about values of life. She would say to me "take what you can and leave what you can't', otherwise you can't have them all".  I awalys thank her silently for those values.  

To my Dad, the old man i lived to know as my friend other than my own father. I guess we are both too ambitious trying to make it in life in our different ways of doing things. We are both self opinionated and we both love doing things our own way, maybe one of the things we have in common although that doesn't always have a positive effect in our life. We talk about things and we call our relationship good but that's all there is between us,i guess we don't have history!!. Am very sad because, fews months after i wrote this, my Father passed away. Very unexpectedly. I never thought i will miss him the way i do but, what can i say. Nothing, except...Thanks dad for giving me those years of your Life. You were a good man and will always be an influence in my work.

What happened to my American Lover?? The last time i heard about her, she was tour guiding some hiking expenditions in Alaska, eagle, bear watching and stuff like that.  I hope she draws them too, she was too good at it.  I wonder if she still love Spanish?

For me, i have found my rest, i do my travelling only if i have to.  My family is my priority so is the upbringing of these three girls. Maybe when they are big enough and on their own, then, i will resume my old hobby together with my Lovely Wife. I think the first place we would like to explore will be Africa..I would like to write more about Africa and it's people and even Produce some African Movies. Who knows what the years will bring us. I love Europe, it is a place i call home and has given me alot of rest.

O' i have to go now, my coffee break is over and so is my day dream,.but as for this building it will always remind me of Something,Somebody at Someplace.LOL 

 Marving