The Mind of a Madman | |
My inspiration
08:57, 24.7.2006
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Just a free journal I wrote last night. Trying to write more every day. Sorry to my boys if this comes off as soft, but so be it. Sue, baby, this one's for you. I'm getting married son! Never thought I'd say that with such conviction. The day is approaching rapidly. And the funniest thing about it all is that it can't come fast enough. I love this woman. We've come so far together. And the most important thing in all of this is that I know we'll grow even more as every day passes. I owe her so much. I don't think she understands what she means to me. I started writing again when she loved me. And not just writing for the sake of writing. For the first time in my life, I began writing with a purpose. She inspired me to do so. It was as if I felt so good inside...had forgiven myself for the first time in my life for all the sabotaging acts I committed against myself. I didn't doubt myself anymore. I believed in me. All because she saw something in me. And she's beautiful. Not only in the traditional sense of the word, but in every way that evokes my senses. I see her and I want to breathe her. I want to take her into me and fill my insides with everything that she is. I want to breathe out and feel as if my body is intoxicated with her essence. That she is truly a part of me, physically and spiritually. I saw something in her from the beginning. She laughs when I say it, but I helped her become what she is today. Not that I changed her in any way. But I helped her to allow herself to embrace who she really is. I helped her to let down the barriers of self-doubt, and fear. And by doing so, I allowed her to do the same for me. I'm getting married son! Not in the traditional way, but in the most meaningful of ways. A way that shows what is most important is our love for one another. A respect that grows every day. That is strong enough to say I will marry you wherever, whenever, and however we feel is right. With the courage to believe we will create something that no one before us ever has. A family that supports each other. Respects each other. Believes in each other. A foundation that exists because of she. Because of we. I'm getting married son! Not in the traditional sense, but in a way that shows her I will love her eternally, as no man has ever loved a woman before. Fully and unquestionably real. I promise to love you, hold you, respect you, nurture you and protect you. To believe you, breathe you, see you, and accept you, for everything that you are, and everything you will become. And children! She wants many. At first, I was afraid to say yes. Afraid of the repercussions that would imply. Selflessness. Sacrifice. Struggle. Everything that she has helped me overcome. I see no reason why she won't heal me again when that time comes. She wants children. Many. And so do I. I want every child to remind me of her. Every look. Every glance, and dance, and laugh, and cry, to remind me of her. I want to create something so perfectly imperfect as a child with her. To see them grow together with her. And to hold her and thank her for already giving me so much. I'm getting married son! What could be better? Leave a Comment { Last Page } { Page 8 of 10 } { Next Page } |
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