A Day in the Life of a Megalomaniacal Producer/Director

Life in Hollywood...

   It has been quite a while since I've added an entry to my blog. Quite a bit has happened since my last entry. I have since moved to Hollywood, and I know reside in the beautiful area of Beverly Hills. Let me be the first to tell those of you that don't live in the Los Angeles area that Hollywood is WAY overrated. I mean, it's beautiful and all, but it's not the place to throw 10 Million bucks on a mansion.

   Anyway, since I've been in Hollywood I've ditched the acting and gone straight to movie producer. I feel more comfortable on the business side of the movie industry, and I love the power that producers have. I have yet to meet with my big time producer contact. His schedule is insane and I'm hard pressed to catch him when he has some time. So I spend most of my time playing phone tag with his assistant. The good news is that I've since hooked up with an indie producer and now we've got a few projects in development.

   The sad thing is that the movie biz isn't paying the bills just yet, a minor inconvenience considering there is plenty of interesting temp work in Los Angeles. I don't plan to be poor too much longer anyway. Until next time kids....

Any advice?

   I'd like to call on all of my fellow bloggers for advice. I've got my big meeting with the movie producer out in Hollywood in a month, and I've just realized that I have no idea what the hell I'm going to say or how it could possibly go. Initially the idea is that we're meeting to discuss the start of my career in the industry. The problem is that I have no idea what this really means. I assume that he's going to offer some sort of guidance, but what kind of guidance? I wonder if he's going to be sincerely interested in my career aspirations and perhaps allow me to work with him as an apprentice of sorts, or is he just going to say "yeah welcome to Hollywood. This industry is a bitch. Hope you make it. See you later". Might he offer me some casting roles or at least some extra work? I could go on and on, but I'm sure you get my point.

   Let me say that I know I probably sound spoiled, and I honestly don't intend to sound that way. I don't expect anything, and meeting with him is already more of a blessing than I probably deserve. I've just been told that the easiest way to good work in Hollywood is through contacts, and this meeting is one of the biggest opportunities of my career. I don't know what to expect and I just want to produce the best possible outcome. If anyone has any advice, please feel free to share!

Running down the clock....

   September is almost here and there are only about 7 weeks until I pack my bags and head to Los Angeles. I just finished getting my apartment squared away, I've a nice little place on the outside of beverly hills. The rent is practically wallet rape, but it's better than Compton, right? I've had the misfortune of moving back in with my parents so that I could save more money for my journey to L.A. While financially this decision makes perfect sense, I have discovered that I totally regret ever making that decision. I've saved some money, more than I would have ever saved had I lived in my own place, but my parents definitely hate that I've dropped out of college to pursue a career in film. As you could probably guess, this makes for many heated discussions and akward moments.

   I view it as a blessing though. Their bullsh*t is just preparing me for the bullsh*t I'll catch in this business out in L.A.. I must admit that it does hurt when your own family doesn't support you. The worst part is that if (and when) I become successful, they'll do the "oh I never doubted you for a second" bullsh*t. Thats fine too, cause they won't fooling anyone. Let me get off the subject of my crappy family, because my blood pressure is already high enough. What I really want to say is that I'm really just running down the clock until I go Hollywood on everybody. The anticipation is killing me, and I can't help but hope that there is a pot of gold waiting for me on the other side...

Having a taste for punishment (Making it in the industry).

   I speak with alot of my fellow filmmakers about breaking into the business and the many obstacles that one may face on their way to the top. Its a very tough business and will be discouraging more often than not, but I thought I would share some advice for the up and coming that get discouraged along the way.

   One day while I was skipping class in college and watching television, I came across an episode of America's Next Top Model. On the show, a model-to-be was struggling to take "sexy" pictures because she was sitting in a rather uncomfortable position. She began complaining, and the photographer says "Sorry honey, there is nothing comfortable about fashion." This saying has stuck with me ever since. One would think that life would be great once you start finding lots of work and making all the money (or at least some of the money) and being famous, but that is simply not the case. This industry is tough, and it will always be tough, whether you're an A-list star or a blog writing hopeful. Of course there are perks to being a star, but you're always going to have to hustle in the industry to get work and stay working. Once you realize and accept this truth, then you've already won half the battle.

   To win the second part of the battle, you have to acquire the stomach for punishment. It sounds ridiculous but it is a necessary evil. I played football in high school and in college. My teammates and I wanted to be the best players we could be, but the only path to this goal was through 100 yard sprints (I was a lineman so trust me, fat players don't like to run) and painful practices. The only thing we could do to succeed was to learn to respect the punishment of the game. If we couldn't stomach the punishment, then we couldn't handle the game. The same holds true for anything in life, including the film industry. In your career in the film industry you'll have to encouter personal development issues, rejection, crappy meaningless jobs, so on and so forth. However, when you learn to love and respect the punishment of the film industry the failures do nothing to your confidence and only heighten the awareness of your own progress.

   So to close, and to make a long story short, your difficulty in this business is all a matter of perspective. Once you've gotten a stomach for punishment, then what can stop you?

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty"-Winston Churchill

Acting: Trusting Your Performance.

   One of the most difficult things about being an actor is trusting your performance. What I mean by this is that it is hard for an actor to be satisfied with his or her performance simply because an actor thinks that their performance could always have been better. While it is good to strive for perfection in your craft, it is important for actors to remember that they are their own worst critic. About 99% of the time in your own eyes your performance will never be good enough. Always strive for perfection in what you do, but trust the lessons that you have learned up to that point in your career and perform to the best of your abilities. When you trust your skills, your "acting" will become more natural and you will actually perform more effectively.

Life at the station...

   I've just finished my first week at the television station and I must admit it has been pretty cool. Its cool because of the fact that television and films are a rather interesting environment to work in, but there are some things that I have experienced while working at the station that bug me about the television industry.

   For those of you that have made films and have shot something on location, you know that people love to watch. Last Friday, I was given the task to take a camera crew out and conduct interviews with local citizens and ask about their opinion of various community projects. The problem was that everyone wanted to watch me film other people, but nobody wanted to be on camera. Everybody wanted to wave at the camera from 5 feet away, but nobody wanted their face in front of the camera. That crap is mind boggling to me. The interview takes 10 seconds. I ask my question, you answer, then leave. Thats it. Yet all I get is "No thanks" and then the person proceeds to continue to watch and wave at the camera when they're in the crowd. It sucks.

   But thats not as bad as the douche bag that loves to give his opinion to you, just not on camera. Thats the worst. This ass is like "No, I don't want to be on camera...but I do think that a public swimming pool is a great idea!" What the hell...just say that into the camera and we can all go home. Other than these occasional assholes, the experience was pretty awesome. The local Eckerd Pharmacy manager hooked me and the camera crew up with some free Dasani water which was pretty nice since it was 100 degrees out. In the end, we got our interviews and then we went inside the local best buy and played video games. I've been goofing off alot for the first week, but tomorrow is going to be a different story. I start editing all the garbage I shot last week, and I hear that editing sucks something awful. Guess we shall see. Until next time...

WhenLightingStrikes

   I'll admit that I've been pretty blessed since I've been trying to get into the industry. However, success may be easier to achieve than you think. Here's how I've been successful so far...

   I want to begin by saying, and I'm sure you've heard this a thousand times before, that luck has played a crucial role in my success so far. With that being said, here we go...

   1.) Finding Work As An Actor. Finding work as an actor has been the hardest part for me. I got my first paying gig by hitting up an open casting call. I got lucky and was called back to be cast as a bouncer. It sucked, but it gave me SAG eligibility so whatever. I just hit every open casting call that I could, I knew sooner or later I'd get a part. Luckily it was sooner. I still struggle to find work, but thats because I'm in North Carolina and there isn't much paying work for actors here.

   2.) Getting the job as producer at my local television station. Now this was a total fluke. I called my local television station and told them I was an independent filmmaker and that I was looking for experience in the industry. They then told me that they had just lost a producer and that they needed someone to fill the spot. This station is a little local broadcast place, so they did alot of their own shows. The fact that I made student films was experience enough for them, so now I'm a producer there. Now I'm getting experience with equipment and I'm building my resume. That one was all luck, period.

   3.) My Hollywood Contact. This is the one you probably really wanted to know about, and honestly this one is a result of luck too, but I'm sure you can take something from it. To meet this Hollywood producer, I used the alumni services of a prestigious boarding prep school that a friend of mine attended. As it turns out, this hollywood producer graduated from the same prep school. So a couple of phone calls were made to the head of alumni services, some names were dropped, some new friendships were formed, and we soon scored the contact info of this hollywood producer. We then sent him an email saying that he had been recommended to us by the head of alumni services as a person to help jump start our careers in the industry. He emailed back saying that he'd be glad to help a fellow alum (and me) and he gave us his office phone number. We then set up a meeting with his assistant and now we've got our foot in the door.

   So thats pretty much the jist of it. As you can see, much of my success is due to total luck, but I'm sure you can find a resource that can provide a contact if you look hard enough. Hope this helps!

Playing the waiting game...

   Well everything is basically set up now. I've got my first (and worst) paying gig out of the way, so all of the nervous "ohmigod I'm on a movie set" kinks are out of the system. Now I can focus on perfecting my craft. I also start the job at the television station tomorrow, so I can finally start learning about the joys of editing and polishing a finished product in the production room. Finally, I've got the meeting set up with my Hollywood contact so I can relax a little about trying to get my foot in the door.

   It may seem as though everything is downhill from here, and all I have to do is go to Los Angeles to knock over the pins. But this is terrible for me, because I'm not good at playing the waiting game. I've got two months before I leave for L.A. and that means I'll get into the habit of worrying. I tend to think about what could go wrong, and when that eats away at my confidence I start second guessing myself, and thats when you really lose it. You're probably thinking "What kind of megalomaniac has confidence issues?". Good point, I'm working on that. I'll let you know how it goes. At any rate, I keep myself busy by working on those screenplays and working at my dead-end job, but I have severe writers block and working a crappy job only makes me think about L.A. more. I guess I'm just stuck in my personal hell for the remainder of my time in North Carolina.

My Advice On...Bad Directors

   This entry is for my fellow actors and actresses trying to make in this industry. As we struggle to perfect our craft there will be days that you arrive on a movie set and encounter one of the biggest obstacles that an up and coming actor can face in their early career...a horrible director. It happens, and it happened to me on the set of my first movie.

   Let me begin by saying that it will be the worst moment of your life, and there will be nothing that you can do about it. When you meet a horrible director early in your career your performance will be garbage. There is no escape. "But Megalomaniac, how will I know that I have a horrible director?" Well I'm so glad you asked! Let me break down all the ways you can tell if you have a horrible director...

   1.) As an extra, when you arrive on set, the director (or one of his many flunkies) will begin to fill you in on your lines and motivation, and thats if you're lucky to begin with. Now if this director simply says your motivation is to be an emotion (e.g. "Be happy", "Be angry!", Be strong!") then congratulations, you're about to suck. Why? Because nothing you do will ever be good enough. You'll either over-act and look cartoonish, or under act and look boring. It's just a disaster and you're going to catch all the wrath.

   2.) One sure sign that you have a bad director is if the cast is always angry. Now I'll admit that there could be other reasons why the cast of a film could be angry, but if the cast is constantly angry, then the director will suck as a result, thats just life. So anyway, if you're playing a character that interacts with the lead character and the actor that plays the lead character is angry when he/she arrives on set, then contratulations, it now officially sucks to be you. If the lead actor/actress is pissed, then the director is pissed, and if everybody on set is pissed then the filming of that whole scene will not be cool. Trust me, I had a mug thrown at me once, not a great time...

   3.) Now this may be politically incorrect to say, but that gives me even more reason to say it, right? A sure sign that you will have a bad director is if you do a *Bollywood film in America. The communication problems you will have will be absolutely insane. If you arrive on the set of a Bollywood film, and the director is trying to tell you your lines and motivation while he's holding an English translation dictionary, grab your car keys and leave. Save yourself the blood pressure medication.

   I'm sure I could go on, but most of you have more important things to do than read a long blog, and if you don't, then you've got bigger problems than bad directors. Feel free to leave some horror stories or comments on bad directors that I may have missed. Until next time...

*For those of you that don't know, the term Bollywood refers to the film industry in India. Bollywood films are becoming increasingly popular around the world and now many Bollywood films are being filmed in America.

The results are in...

   My frist experience at a movie set was yesterday and I have to admit, it was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. For one, I realized how INSANE it is to be a celebrity. Its one thing to hear about how celebrities are treated on set, but its another to see it for yourself. As soon as a celebrity arrives on set, he/she immediately gets swarmed with personal assistants fighting to statisfy their every desire. That shit was crazy, and I loved it. It gave me even more motivation to run to Hollywood. I spent my time with other extras in the holding room, which was a pain in the ass, but I watched as the celebrities went to their million dollar trailers with their friends, lovers or other random entourage memebers and have a great time. So in between my scenes I was dreaming of the day that I become a celebrity so that I can have such power.

   Perhaps the best part about being a celebrity on set is that the star has the power to halt production for whatever reason. For example, we were filming our movie at a NASCAR speedway, and it was very hot. Add all the cameras and other equipment to the mix, and you have yourself an oven, folks. So anyways, a certain star films a scene and after the scene was finished he began to complain about the weather and went to his trailer to cool off. When the star was called back to set to begin filming another scene, he refused to come to set because he was "too hot and tired", and guess what....the director and producer were cool with it, no problems. They just said "well, I guess we're gonna break" and that was that. WOW, it must be nice. Now, I'm not going to lie. I love power, I mean...I'm a megalomaniac, so seeing this type of thing happen on set damn near got me sexually stimulated. At the end of the day I said to myself "this is where I was meant to be...in the spotlight".

   Oh God, then there are the "set floozies", you know, the girls that are either extras or standing around watching that are really there to flirt with the star. I mean, this may not mean anything to some of you, but for a young man like myself, it means everything. I don't mind a little scandal. Anyway, I digress. I could go on and on about how great celebrities have it, but the key thing I want you guys to know is that you have to see it for yourself. It's a true mind boggler. There isn't much to say about my time on set. As I said before I spent my entire time with the other extras eating the worst food ever. I was there a total of 8 and a half hours to do a total of 30 minutes of filming. I expected as much, but it is much worse when you see that the celebrities get to hang out with their friends and lovers and have assistants take care of them in between scenes and you're stuck in a room for hours with some of the most uninteresting people you'll ever meet. Anyways, I said my line, changed out of my wardrobe and left. Thats pretty much the life of an extra, but atleast I got to see what its like to be a celebrity, and that gives me the energy to keep going...

My first paying gig....

My first hater...WARNING: RANTING AHEAD!!!

   So I met my first hater today. For those of you that don't know, the term "hater" refers to a person that disapproves of your success and/or potential simply out of jealousy or any other bullshit reason they can muster. Anyways, so I met my first hater today. He is a fellow filmmaker in his mid-twenties. I've known him for a little while. We aren't great friends, merely a step or two above acquaintances.We attended school together at EAST CAROLINA U. GO PIRATES!!!!!!!!! So yeah, we went to school at ECU together. He's been a filmmaker since he was a teen. He did the Audio/Visual geek thing and all that jazz. He just recently graduated from ECU and we would regularly communicate via Facebook.com. As I explained in my previous entries, I've just recently gotten into filmmaking seriously, and at first my friend was excited that I had decided to get into the industry. However, while he was making his low budget films, I was trying to make contacts by digging into my friends to see if somebody knew somebody. As it turns out, I have a friend that graduated from the same prestigious boarding school as the big Hollywood producer did. So a couple of phone calls and favors from the alumni department, and voila, you have yourself a hook-up.

   Anyways, as I said earlier I got a good word put in and got in touch with the producer and now I've got an opportunity to learn and rub elbows with the best in the industry...well, the best Fox Searchlight Pictures has to offer. So I thought my fellow filmmaker would be elated that one of us had a shot at making it. Instead I was met with hostility. He expressed his unhappiness stating that I don't have one serious finished product, and that I don't have a solid foundation as a filmmaker (whatever the hell that means). He said that he was displeased that he had been working and making no contacts and I just asked around and got a wonderful opportunity and how incredibly unfair it was. Let me start by saying that I'm not surprised at all. I know how the world works and it's only natural for someone in his position to be angry. I know how lucky I am, I'm alot luckier than I deserve, but I honestly think I made the smarter play. While he was shooting for film festivals, I was going straight for the top by seeing who knew who. To hell with first downs, I throw for the end zone everytime.

   At any rate, I know I'm lucky. It takes a little luck to be successful in this business. I think the guy has every right to be pissed. I don't have any resume at all, but I still made the smarter play and I'm enjoying the benefits. He shouldn't be worried about me working hard, as I'm due for my fair share of work. Whatever the case may be, the moral of the story is: "Don't hate!" Now we're nothing but rivals, and I'm petty, so I can hold a grudge for a long time. I guess this is the first lesson in success. The more successful you are, the more enemies you have. "More money, more problems" (Who said rap music wasn't good for anything?)

Picking Up Speed...

   One interesting thing that I've learned since I've started this blog is that the life of an actor is not nearly as interesting as the life of a filmmaker or screenwriter. When I'm not working my dead-end job, I'm basically working on my acting and coordinating my move to Los Angeles. Not very interesting, right? Well I've got bad news for you guys, its more of the same crap.

   Recently I've scored a job at the local television station as a producer. Other than acting, I'm also a filmmaker and I've done a few small movie projects, but to this day, I don't know how the hell I got the job at the T.V. station. I called up there a couple of weeks ago asking for an intern position just so I can have something to put on my resume before I go out to Los Angeles. So over the past few weeks I go and meet some people and do some interviews and on Tuesday afternoon I meet the head production guy and he says "so yeah, we'd like for you to write the script for this new show we've got shooting next week, and you're going to produce and direct it." So at first I was excited. I figured that this meant that I could bypass being an intern and become a producer and my resume will look even better, but then I got home and realized that I had never done anything as big as this before. At any rate, I've got to brush up on my production skills a bit before I report for duty next week.

   In the meantime, I got lucky and scored an interview with a big Hollywood producer in the coming months to discuss me beginning my career. I feel really lucky that I can be taken under the wing of a successful producer, but I can't help but feel bad that I haven't really done anything to earn it other than knowing the right person. By no means do I think everything is going to be easy, but I must admit I thought I was going to be struggling something awful, a lot more than I have been. Perhaps I'm speaking a little early, things can always go wrong. God is the most tasteless practical joker, and I very well could be "punk'd" later on....

Moving very slowly...

   I want to thank the people that have left comments on my page. Everyone left some very valuable advice. I hope to return the favor, although I'm a better listener...lol. At any rate, since my last entry, i've been working on the few screenplays that I've got in the chamber. They aren't coming along so well. See, I'm a horror and comedy guy. I love to watch George Romero flicks, and I love old school "Naked Gun" movies, so my flavor of comedy and horror is dying. Horror movies are so watered down now, and I guess nobody loves good old fashioned 3rd grade fart jokes anymore...so yeah back to my screenplays. I'll admit it, they suck. The only reason why I haven't trashed them yet, is because I know hollywood will put ANYTHING on screen, so I figure, what the hell...

   I'm a producer/director at heart, so I'm really just writing the screenplays so I can make them myself. I have a partner in Boston that writes screenplays. Now she is a true blessing. She's an author turned screenwriter, and she writes alot of drama and romance type stuff. She is truly talented, and I think some of her stuff can be Oscar worthy with a bit of polishing. I can't wait to get her stuff out there. While we're both writing, we're still saving money to get to Los Angeles. I lucked up and found a nice job available at a local television station as a producer. I've got an interview date set so hopefully I can snag the job for some experience while I'm waiting to make the move to L.A.

   I've still been working on my acting, and it's getting better. Acting really opens up ones eyes to how other people can view the world. It's really an amazing experience. I'm not as nervous as I was before about going to L.A, now I'm just ready to get it over with. I'm actually more nervous now about the flight to L.A. (yeah, I'm one of those people that are deathly afraid of flying, well not so much flying, as I'm afraid of crashing). Nevertheless, I strive forward. I'm taking the advice I was given and I'm daring Hollywood to break me. I agree that it takes those kinds of balls to make it in this business. Until next time...

In the huddle...

   As I posted yesterday, the first step is usually the hardest step to take. I forgot to mention that the first step isn't the hardest thing to do. The hardest thing to do is to keep walking. I spent most of my day on the phone with the people I know from L.A., trying to get a glimpse of what life will be like when I arrive in L.A.. Of course, they all said it would be shitty. I never expected anything but that answer, but it still sucks to hear it come from their mouths.

   At any rate, I continue to improve my acting ability, and make preparations for my move to Los Angeles. I'm anxious to get out there and get started, but also a little nervous to "risk it all" for the movie industry. I still keep trying to ignore that I have to work a bullshit job for a few months just to save enough money to even go out there. It's good though, I've been told that a shitty job and a crushed spirit will prepare me well for life in L.A.. I'm still pondering the motives of the guy that told me that, I don't know if that saying is as inspirational as he meant it to be...

And So It Begins....

Ahhhh....It's always refreshing to take the first steps toward accomplishing a major goal. The first step is usually the hardest and once you get the momentum going, it becomes a little easier everyday.

     I'm an actor/filmmaker/screenwriter/whatever and I don't have much experience doing anything. I've been trained by a SAG affiliated actress, done a little bit of theater work here and there, and I'm developing a few screenplays. I've been in college for five years majoring in political science, but I've just recently decided to pursue acting and filmmaking as a career, much to the dismay of...well everyone. So as I trade in my college degree for a very uncertain future in the movie industry, I naturally feel a little worried about the upcoming struggle to make it. The good news is I have a few contacts on the inside. I've heard the old saying "Success in Hollywood comes down to who you know" many times. I hope this is true, as this will give me a major advantage when I arrive in L.A. to make my mark. But, the truth is I don't really know how true this old saying is. My contacts may not be much help at all. One thing is for sure, I'm in for a wild ass ride. At least we're all in it together right....right?