A Day in the Life of a Megalomaniacal Producer/Director

The results are in...

   My frist experience at a movie set was yesterday and I have to admit, it was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. For one, I realized how INSANE it is to be a celebrity. Its one thing to hear about how celebrities are treated on set, but its another to see it for yourself. As soon as a celebrity arrives on set, he/she immediately gets swarmed with personal assistants fighting to statisfy their every desire. That shit was crazy, and I loved it. It gave me even more motivation to run to Hollywood. I spent my time with other extras in the holding room, which was a pain in the ass, but I watched as the celebrities went to their million dollar trailers with their friends, lovers or other random entourage memebers and have a great time. So in between my scenes I was dreaming of the day that I become a celebrity so that I can have such power.

   Perhaps the best part about being a celebrity on set is that the star has the power to halt production for whatever reason. For example, we were filming our movie at a NASCAR speedway, and it was very hot. Add all the cameras and other equipment to the mix, and you have yourself an oven, folks. So anyways, a certain star films a scene and after the scene was finished he began to complain about the weather and went to his trailer to cool off. When the star was called back to set to begin filming another scene, he refused to come to set because he was "too hot and tired", and guess what....the director and producer were cool with it, no problems. They just said "well, I guess we're gonna break" and that was that. WOW, it must be nice. Now, I'm not going to lie. I love power, I mean...I'm a megalomaniac, so seeing this type of thing happen on set damn near got me sexually stimulated. At the end of the day I said to myself "this is where I was meant to be...in the spotlight".

   Oh God, then there are the "set floozies", you know, the girls that are either extras or standing around watching that are really there to flirt with the star. I mean, this may not mean anything to some of you, but for a young man like myself, it means everything. I don't mind a little scandal. Anyway, I digress. I could go on and on about how great celebrities have it, but the key thing I want you guys to know is that you have to see it for yourself. It's a true mind boggler. There isn't much to say about my time on set. As I said before I spent my entire time with the other extras eating the worst food ever. I was there a total of 8 and a half hours to do a total of 30 minutes of filming. I expected as much, but it is much worse when you see that the celebrities get to hang out with their friends and lovers and have assistants take care of them in between scenes and you're stuck in a room for hours with some of the most uninteresting people you'll ever meet. Anyways, I said my line, changed out of my wardrobe and left. Thats pretty much the life of an extra, but atleast I got to see what its like to be a celebrity, and that gives me the energy to keep going...